Top 20 New IBM Terms

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1. Appleplexy - The intense jealousy felt in the IT industry whenever Apple unveils a new product
2. Autognomic Computing - self-healing ghosts in the machine
3. BlueGenie - what, along with a hundred wishes, all other IT companies will need to outperform BlueGene
4. Clientology - the cult of not using the word customer
5. Date Management - software to help manage a Casanova's social life
6. Dotcommunist - person who thinks blogs will change the world
7. Downloafing - surfing the web while you wait for your file to download
8. Floppertunity - sending your company into a huge commodity-market toilet through a major be-like IBM acquisition
9. Inepitism - the act of hiring your nephew into a position for which he is not qualified
10. Intranut - someone who has read every w3 article ever posted
11. Mobile Workfarce - when you tell your manager you're working from home but you're actually goofing off
12. Mousebidextrous - able to mouse with either left or right hand indiscriminately. Particularly useful for ergonomically challenged information workers who sometimes choose to mouse lefty at home and righty at work
13. Nonotechnology - stuff that doesn't work
14. On Demand Workpace - how to get 26 hours work done in a 24-hour day
15. Samtime - instant Strategic messaging system
16. Smirklife Balance - the look you give your manager when she asks you to work over the weekend again
17. Spam Palmisano - when all three hundred thousand IBMers decide to send their CEO a note on the same day
18. Thinkpod - sleek black MP3 player that will never make it to market
19. Trash Compaqter - see "Floppertunity"
20. Windoze - what you do waiting for you PC to boot up